Let’s get one thing out of the way: Apple makes great computers. Their machines are a wonder of the blending of form and function. If their prices were in line with their competition, I would probably own one.
Now that we’ve dispensed with the facts, let’s discuss why Apples are evil.
1. Price. Generally speaking, an Apple computer costs twice as much as a Windows based PC. Are they twice as good? The answers range from “A hundred million times better!”, to “no”, depending on who you ask. The correct answer is “no“.
2. Commercials. Even though Apple makes terrific computers, their main selling point seems to be “The other computers stink! So buy ours!”. Imagine if Ruth’s Chris Steak House had an ad campaign that consisted of “LongHorn Steakhouse steaks are lousy! So come to Ruth’s Chris!”
3. More about commercials. Below you will notice a picture from Apple’s famous ads, showing the two characters “PC & Mac”. Now honestly, if you had these guys as neighbors, which one would you feel like leaving your keys to your house so he could feed your cat while your gone? Yes, Mr. PC looks like a nerd, but I trust him. It’s obvious Mr. Mac smokes pot and gets drunk at least twice a week. Look at the picture again. Who would you really choose to sell you a computer? Seriously. Don’t lie.
4. Steve Jobs. Do a Google image search for Steve Jobs. Out of the first 20 pictures, 15 are of him wearing a black shirt with no collar. Steve, George Clooney’s image is taken, find one of your own. And try inventing an iShaver.
5. Macs never crash or get viruses. Not true. Take it from my father-in-law who had to pay 50 bucks to the Mac Tech Support to unfreeze his. And the reason they don’t get as many viruses? There aren’t as many Macs. A town of 50,000 people will have many more cases of the flu than an apartment with 2 people in it.
6. The logo. What do you think of when you see an apple with a bite out of it? Adam and Eve. Temptation. Sin. Death. Lots of death.
I am sorry if I’ve offended anyone. Or made you feel guilty about owning a Mac. I’ll be happy to take it off your hands. I want to help. You can trust me. I’m a PC.