As I’m cleaning out a vacant apartment recently, I find the mug you see in the picture above. After at least five minutes of non-exhaustive research, I wasn’t able to find out much about this particular type of mug, so let’s focus on conjecture, hypothesis, and of course, truth.
I assume this mug was given to someone as a reward for giving 2 gallons of blood to the Red Cross (or as it says on the mug, “2 Gallon”). I also assume this was done over a long period of time. If not, this was given to the donor’s surviving family. So assuming the donor is still alive, the question remains; Is this mug meant to be a reward, or a punishment?
Who would feel like drinking coffee after having the vision of 2 gallons of blood stuck in your brain as you grabbed this mug?
This reminds of the time I was living in rural North Carolina. I walked into a large garage, where two men were working. They were working on a large metal object, maybe ten feet square. The strangest thing inside the garage though, was the smell. I’d never come in contact with an odor like that before, but in an instant the smell permeated my body and started picking fights with every cell in my body. “What is that?”, I asked the men. “That’s a blood tank from the Perdue Chicken Processing Plant,” they answered. It seems when they kill chickens, they store the blood in the Blood Tank. This Blood Tank was broken, and these men who by now had no sense of smell or any close friends, were fixing it.
As I left the garage, all I wanted to do was go home, take 11 hot baths, drink some hot chocolate and watch Anne of Green Gables (1985) again. That would have made that day a good day.
Back to the Red Cross Mug.
Perhaps this was given out by Weight Watchers in cooperation with the Red Cross? Imagine the morning conversation;
Wife: “Good morning dear, ready for some ham and eggs to go with that coffee?”
Anemic Husband: “I don’t think so, not feeling very hungry.”
Wife: “Some cranberry juice? Tomato juice? Cherry Coke? A rare steak smoothie?”
Anemic Husband: “Suddenly, I’m not very hungry.”
What’s next, a mug that says “Passed On Hepatitis to 3 People!”, or maybe “Immune-Weakening Champion 2011”, or perhaps “Saved No Lives, But Made the Red Cross and the Hospital a Ton of Money!”. I guess that would have to be a Super-Sized Mug, maybe for the next year’s Ten Gallon Winner!
It’s time for breakfast, but suddenly, I’m not very hungry.