The benefits of not celebrating Christmas are many. Avoidance of an early death seems to be one of them.
This year’s opening of the Christmas hunting shopping season has seen a plethora of assaults involving customers being shot, pepper-sprayed, not to mention countless acts of VBMs (Very Bad Manners).
At a Wal-Mart in Little Rock, Arkansas the riot in the video below.
What were the animals shoppers fighting for? A $2.00 waffle maker. Admittedly, $2.00 is a great price for just about anything, whether you need it or not (A bag of broken glass! For only 2 bucks? Gimme!). But a waffle maker is one of those items that is never used in residential settings. In fact, in Canada, while owning a waffle maker is allowed, using a waffle maker inside your home is punishable by internment of 30 days in an igloo.
Even if you decide to use it, the waffle batter drips through the edges of the machine, the waffle itself refuses to dislodge from the top part of the lid, and usually the breakfast ends up with the couple of the house getting divorced.
The next video shows what can happen to you if you are a helicopter pilot who celebrates Christmas.
This was the first attack of a Christmas tree on a helicopter recorded on video. How long before the next attack? Ever notice how a lot full of Christmas trees for sale looks just like an army standing at attention? And what about the fact that when you walk by two trees standing together, they always stop talking when you get near them?
Aren’t you glad you don’t have a Christmas tree in your house? If you do have one, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Was that a twig snapping?