Other Stuff – Beetle Frapp

Yes, some stories really do write themselves.

A Vegan barista who works at Starbucks recently turned over to a vegan website a list of ingredients Starbucks uses in their Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino drink. Among the ingredients are cochineal extracts. In other words, beetles. The beetles are ground up and used to add red coloring.

This has angered many Vegans. The inclusion of beetles in the Starbucks Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino drink means it is no longer Vegan-acceptable. Apparently the Strawberry Frappuccino from Starbucks is a staple of their diet. This heartless move by Starbucks has threatened their very existence. I expect Congress will begin holding hearings on this injustice shortly.

Why would Starbucks do this? Starbucks says they are trying to get away from artificial ingredients in their drinks. Personally, if I had a choice of eating a Twinkie, or a bug, I would choose the Twinkie. No hesitation. Given the same choice, a vegan would starve to death. No hesitation.

I feel sorry for Vegans. First off, their home planet was blown-up in the last Star Trek (2009) movie. Wait, that was Vulcan. Common mistake. Where was I? Yes, I feel sorry for Vegans. They don’t eat meat, or any products from animals. They won’t eat diary products. They won’t wear clothes from animal products. They won’t walk on dirt for fear of stepping on or bothering any bugs underfoot. They won’t drink water for fear of ingesting micro-organisms. They won’t breathe air for fear of inhaling air-borne microbes. How can you spot a vegan? They’re the people in coffins wearing polyester suits.

But I digress.

Why doesn’t Starbucks just add more strawberries to give it that strawberry color? My guess? It would be too expensive. I imagine the cost of beetles is MUCH LESS than strawberries. Although, it does take about 70,000 insects to make one pound of cochineal dye. If I was a beetle, I would be pretty mad about that little fact.

Why do they even have to add ANY kind of dye? Aren’t Starbucks customers smart enough to realize that something can taste a certain way without looking a certain way? Wait a minute, these are the same customers that pay five dollars for a cup of coffee that tastes like ashes, when at McDonald’s, they can get a real cup of coffee for one dollar. I guess that answers the question.

For another lucid posting re: Starbucks, please click here.


2 thoughts on “Other Stuff – Beetle Frapp

  1. Hey Mike, can you put a link on this that links back to your outstanding(*****) review of McD’s vs StarB’s? Newcomers to the blog might have missed that lucid exposition. And the graphic that went with it! Just superb.

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