No, I’m not reviewing a horror movie. The above picture was taken surreptitiously using my HTC Trophy Windows Phone (Don’t be jealous!). I was standing in a hallway of an apartment building in Miami Beach with a friend, at the end of the hall we saw what you see above. In Miami, sudden moves are best left on the roads as you swerve to avoid someone driving into your lane (while at the same time deftly blowing your horn using your elbow), but in situations like above, sudden moves are not recommended (Besides, I was pretty sure I could outrun this lady if I had to, or at the very least, outrun my friend). Hence the askew angle as I took the picture as unobtrusively as possible. I was very pleased with this picture, especially since the woman was not holding a knife. Although, that would have made a GREAT picture too. Maybe next time.
Jenny and I were driving home on Calle Ocho (that’s Spanish for “Streeth of Eight”) when we passed by the above person. “Rock-it baby!” I yelled out (don’t worry, windows were shut), but I couldn’t leave without a record of this sighting. I pulled into a lot across the street, and since my plans for the evening all included me being alive, I took this picture from inside my car, through my windshield, and through the transparent wall of the bus stop (which had the City of Miami Seal embossed on it), from approximately 60 feet away. Fortunately I had my trusty Panasonic Lumix ZS5.
By the way, if anyone from Windows or Panasonic is reading this, I will take whatever you want to send me. You’re very welcome!
Back to Mr. Miami above; I can’t help but think that he put a lot of thought into his attire that day. Obviously he wears the shorts to show off his tattoos on his shins. Your average bum would’ve been satisfied with any socks lying around, but he chose footies. Accident? I think not! And notice the Cuban flag belt buckle. No identity-crisis here! And last but not least, a Miami Marlins baseball shirt, very apropos, since the Marlins record is so bad, they’re already in last place for the 2014 season. As they say, you are what you wear.
Not sure what these two stalwart gentlemen are doing, maybe writing out their wills, since they probably have this nagging feeling that their time on this earth will soon be 6 feet under said earth. But then again, maybe not. Perhaps the reason they have the propane tank next to them is so when the inevitable crash occurs, the concussion wave from the gas explosion will suck the oxygen away from the fireball that comes from the gas container BEFORE it reaches them. Smart.
Did I say last? What WAS I thinking! Here’s some more:
We moved to Miami from Georgia. Many more trailer parks there, but Miami trailer parks just give you that extra wink as you drive by. On the left you notice in front of the trailer, something tied to the tree. On closer inspection, you see a Teddy Bear from the Hard Rock Hotel wearing a Spider-Man mask, and a hoop earring in his left ear. His neighbor has a worn-out I Love You emblem on his chest, and some hearts on his ears and foot-pads. Actually, his little feet-pads are shaped like hearts.
Below is another picture taken in Miami:
So what’s the point of these Teddy Bears tied to trees? (I know the 2nd picture is not a tree, it’s a utility pole – BUT IT USED TO BE A TREE!). It seems to be connected to the story of how the Teddy Bear got it’s name. The political cartoon below appeared in the Washington Post on Nov 16, 1902. It was based on an incident that happened while then President of the United States Theodore Roosevelt was on a hunting party in Mississippi. Some of Roosevelt’s attendants cornered a black bear and tied it to a tree, with the intent of Roosevelt shooting it. He refused, but ordered that the bear be put out of it’s misery. Shortly thereafter, Morris Michtom saw the drawing, and naturally was inspired to create a cuddly toy based on this cruel incident, a stuffed bear, which he placed in his shop window with a sign that read “Teddy’s bear.”
Ever since then, every November, Teddy Bears are tied to trees. The Spider-Man mask was added by some after the release of Spider-Man 3 (2007) as a protest to that overblown production. Isn’t it amazing what you can learn on the internet?
One more picture. At first glance, the kitty below seems like a typically playful kitten. Notable, since kittens are the main force behind the internet. But look closely at his left paw.
Yes, those claws clearly identify this as a Miamus Watch-Outimus Kittimundis. Try tying this kitty to a tree, and a visit to the Emergency Room (Sala de Emergincia, to be more exact) will be in order.